A Chase Of Thoughts

O Shit! He had to run. There was no other option. The strange looking stranger had just picked up his laptop bag and was making a dash for the platform exit. Or so he thought in that split second. For he didn't know where the platform exit was. He managed to glide the almost filled plastic tea cup straight into the dust-bin, as he craftily picked up his stylish blue backpack on the way, and sprinted with all his wind tearing power, towards the moving figure threatening to merge into the crowd. While he was ducking and darting like a bullet on auto pilot, a million thoughts ran through his mind. What would he do if the bag was stolen? It contained most of his critical documents, his cellphone hands-free, the borrowed Dostoyevsky book, the chosen 10 movies from his Woody Allen collection, and of course his e-ticket. He had once lost his bag which contained his LIC policy, Driving Licence, Passport, Chaos Theory & two other books he had just purchased from Blossom, and 4 new movie DVDs. He had gone through hell to get all the documents back but on hindsight it seemed easy.
Suddenly he didn't feel as scared just in case the bag was stolen. Another thought that ran parallel to this was, that she was going to call him soon. And he wondered what if she called him just now while he was running.
The strange stranger was quick but the distance between him, and the fluttering white kurta which was feeling left behind in the midnight chase, was decreasing. He was glad he had been running thrice a week lately, and it showed. He finally decided to go for the flying dive. It was a big risk. Even if he managed to grab the ankle he was sure he would pin him down. But what if he fell short?
And as he felt his grey jeans preparing to soak in some action, he dived. Almost in slow motion, he was holding the cell phone in his left kurta pocket to keep it from hitting the ground, his backpack nicely hung by his shoulders and flying with him, and his right hand outstretched as far as his 6 foot 1 inch frame would allow it to go. He blazed towards the stranger's foot and his fingers just about got hold of the bottom edge of the cloth around the ankle. That was good enough. His strong grip brought the stranger to ground, as they landed on the hard floor with a thud, and slid to a stumbling halt.

And the phone rang.

"Hey! had your tea?"
"Uhm... Not really."
"Why?"
"I was lost in some thoughts baby, and by the time I could realise it, you called."
"What thoughts sweety?"
"You know, as I was looking for a tea stall nearby, I realised I might need to leave my laptop and backpack at the mercy of this strange looking stranger sitting next to me. So I started wondering. What if the moment I begin to have my tea this guy picked my laptop bag and made a dash for the exit? What would I do? How would I chase? And then... while I was thinking about all that could happen, you called!"
"I don't believe you boy! You better get back to writing."
"I guess I'll go and have my tea first."

--
An old draft, which I somehow didn't publish.

Miss you mousse!

He spent a short time with us, but gave us way more happiness than we ever dreamed a little rabbit could be capable of giving. Whatever may be bogging Hitesha down, one look at mousse and it would all become fine.

And of course, the mandatory "talk to the paw" - the act of waving mousse's little paw in my face, whenever I said something that needed to be unceremoniously disregarded!

From 'oh he is so small' to 'why isn't he growing big' to 'oh he is eating everyone else's food' to 'how amazingly adventurous he is', our bauna khargosh will always be missed!

She is alive

She is alive.

She has a universe of her own. Universes, I guess.

She throbs and pulsates with such imagination that worlds get created by a mere glimpse of her thoughts.

She makes a wanderer feel the contentment of being found. And still keep wandering.
She and innocence giggle together. She talks to wonders. She plays games with little shiny things that smile with the sun, dance with the rain, and huddle together with happiness when storms claim to dance.

She lives like no one else ever lived.
Ever will.

She is so alive.

Horseshoe Garage - The Dreamer's Cult Is Born

Disclaimer: This is NOT a review. I have read 3-4 drafts of Horseshoe Garage, have proofed the final version multiple times and am a huge fan of Hitesha's writing. This is sufficient to raise doubts about the impartiality of what I have to say. And then I love Hitesha to bits. That really makes me incapable of genuinely reviewing her books in an unbiased way.

We all dream. Some dream small, some dream big, some let go of their dreams, and some don't even feel the 'letting go' because they seem to know that the dream will always be just that, a dream. We all put efforts in our own ways to achieve, or not achieve, these dreams. And then there are some who dream crazy. So crazy that the dream itself is the reality for them. There is nothing like 'what if the dream doesn't come true?', because the dream is the truth!

Horseshoe Garage is a gripping tale about all of these people, especially about one crazy dreamer of a woman, told in the context of a car racing dream. I have been reading reviews (across flipkart, crossword and landmark) about how the book has solid detailed descriptions, how the characters are relatable, how 'unputdownable' the book is, how it qualifies across all criteria of a good book; story, drama, real characters, romance and so on. And then it has cars, racing, hot chicks (one of them a mechanic, and the pivot of the story) and exciting techy stuff to boot. I have also read that some of the parts towards the end seem stretched or slightly over-dramatised.


While I broadly agree with it, I feel there is one more critical element in the book which makes it truly great. The book has a heart. It has a thought and a philosophy that will connect with everyone who has ever dreamed of doing something insanely great. And if you have not, then it will make you want to dream crazy. This philosophy of the book cuts across situations, people and places and has the potential to tug at every heart.

Horseshoe Garage, in my mind, is about chasing down a dream with all the firepower, perseverance, friends and passion that you have, and giving it a shot like there is no tomorrow. If you have ever dreamed, the book will make you crave to pursue it. It will make the dreamer in you stronger and crazier. And if you have not, then, go ahead... read it!


I say, Horseshoe Garage is a Dreamer's Cult!

CF Revived (Oh My God! - About Infinity, Probability & A Hidden Paradox)

What follows is a set of spontaneous thoughts that were allowed to flow out as words.

Semiotics is the science of meaning. How does God get meaning? This is an attempt to understand the meaning of God by decoding how our mind is hardwired to react and perceive the world. No layer of editing or structure has been applied. Whatever little structure exists is intrinsic. The way it got created.

7 Thoughts in Mind

1.      Infinity is being fed into the mind regularly. All the senses, sensing all the time. Information, knowledge, debates and arguments. Blankness too

2.      Mind can't comprehend everything that is fed into it

3.      Mind makes sense by organizing this complex data/information feed, on the basis of likely assumptions made through past experiences

4.      Mind tends to believe the sense it makes, and thus believes itself

5.      Mind also tends to question itself

6.      Belief and questioning help the mind to sharpen its assumptions
&

7.      Mind is "amazed" at all that which goes 'against' its assumptions.

***Amazement, Awe, Wonder, Distress, Bewilderment***

Amazement is an expression of a mistake that does not hurt
Distress is an expression of a mistake that hurts

Mistake is what went against the mind's assumption
Hurt is a driving force that makes the mind change its assumptions

Belief*Questioning*Mistakes*Amazement*Hurt

Poetic Conclusion:
"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption and keeping it open to imbibe change without getting hurt is GOD."

Non Poetic Version:
"God = Incomprehensible Data"

But how?

7        More Thoughts

1.      The Mind assumes an event as being less likely or more likely to happen, basis the assumptions made from the limited amount of data that it has been able to comprehend and structure sensibly

2.      When a 'mistake' happens, the mind either reacts in amazement or with distress

3.      Both the situations seem beyond its control

4.      Mind needs a support system to get back to its process of "perception/reception ---> comprehension ---> belief/questioning ---> Assumption". Reboot.

5.      God is that Support system. A notion that lets mind forgive itself for the mistakes it made

6.      God thus is nothing but some 'incomprehensible data' that helps the mind to go back to the state of believing & questioning. Because Infinity/Incomprehensible data is where it all started
&

7.      Probability is one such incomprehensible set of notions.

God elicits awe and wonder. It’s a Universal Set of all that we believe to be beyond our control. Probability is beyond our control by definition.

Event A: Very likely to happen. Happens everyday. We are amazed when it doesn't happen. (Eg. A politician refusing to take bribe)
Event B: Very likely to happen. But we know there are times when it may not happen. (Eg. Continuous success. Sachin hitting a century in every game)
Event C: Less likely to happen, but we know it happens. At times we can’t even believe when it happens. (Eg. You winning a game of Poker, Tambola, Scratch card or state lottery. Earthquake on Tv vs Earthquake in our city)
Event D: Unlikely to happen. Most of us think that they know it can’t happen (Eg. Extra terrestrial life, Someone waking up after dying)

All the sources of our awe, amazement, wonder, distress and hurt come from some such improbable event that went against our mind's assumptions.

The vastness of probabilities can never be comprehended by the mind. And if an event, that has lesser probability of occurrence, actually occurs, the mind is amazed and needs to define such an occurrence. We end up calling this 'mistake' as God.

Thus God, by definition, needs to be incomprehensible. It implies miracles, which are nothing but realization of a rare probability. Thus one brings the notion of faith into picture. Belief in God (The Incomprehensible) implies having faith, and faith has no reason.

Just because something is rare does not mean its occurrence is inexplicable. And just because something is inexplicable does not mean it is guiding or controlling us. This is a stone age thought.

Those rare events, that are interpreted as God's signals, become noticeable by the virtue of their unlikeliness of occurrence. A guiding force is a notion, that a certain set of probabilities will dominate over all other possible outcomes, because of the presence of an external factor. There is no way to find out if that external factor ACTUALLY affected the outcome or not, because one can’t go back in time and repeat the event sans the external factor.

Thus, the intrinsic value of the Stone Age God (That Incomprehensible Power Guiding My Life) is null. That God is only as valuable as the value WE associate with/allocate to it, in order to support rebooting of our system when the mind's assumptions are proven wrong.

'Less Likely' is NOT equal to 'Unlikely/Will Never Happen'.

When Event A is more likely than B, it’s the occurrence of B that will amaze you.

Probability does not rule out the occurrence of B and thus, leaves that door of Hope open, which makes you want to ensure that B happens instead of A. And when it happens, out of sheer probability, you tend to correlate the steps you took and the strategies you applied, and suggest that if the entire 'process' is repeated, you can make B occur over A, again and again! Thats how Knowledge is generated. And we tend to spread this knowledge at times without realizing the complete nature of the context.

If you didn't do anything, neither A nor B might occur (A third Probability C may). So doing (Karma), which is in your control, takes precedence over occurring, which is beyond your control. So you must keep doing what you think you are supposed to do.

And this cycle goes on and on. And it’s a fight you can never win inspite of having won, because you can never be sure of it. But thats OK.

This is where, I think, the poetic idea of God begins to make sense.

"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption, and keeping it open to imbibing change without getting hurt is GOD."