New ICC Rules

A certain Mr Sharath makes some very interesting suggestions here as a comment. I REQUEST and PLEAD to Mr Malcolm Speed to ensure that ICC adopts these. It will at least keep the air clear.

(1) Ricky Ponting (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE ERA, WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, if the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER (WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrespective of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grounded. Any clarification for decision should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with in the RIGHT SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While batting, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP) as the ball might not have touched the bat and swung to the fifth slip. Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out at least FOUR TIMES before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about and harassing all players on the field and their families (specifically mothers) and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advice only.

PS.
Bhajji probably told Symonds, "Teri Maan Ki..." and Symonds heard Monkey. No Racism here. Every race has Mothers.
Australian cricket lovers are fabulous but the current Australian team us quiet pathetic.

And as i write this... news came in that Bhajji is in and Bucknor is OUT!

...but Symonds does look like a monkey!

The outcome of the 2nd test between India and Australia does not read 'Australia defeated India by 122 runs'. It reads 'Ricky Ponting and his men have lost all respect, and have let down Australia as a nation, and great cricketers like Steve Waugh'.

Not walking out in spite of clearly being out, and appealing while there is no reason to, only reflects the levels of unsportsmanlike behavior that the Australians have stooped to.

The Umpires' decisions and their overconfidence sucks like rotten rats sucking on dead meat. Disgusting and unrealistic. Steve Bucknor has lost his respect too.

This match was a reflection of how past success can blind you and make you prone to injustice. Australia and Bucknor, both have been successful at what they have done in the past, and I hope that this day marks the end of their success.

I believe that this Australian team will soon see its downfall and Bucknor shall have a disappointing end to his career.

Btw, Bhajji has been banned for three tests, on alleged charges of calling Andrew Symonds a monkey. It was Bhajji's word against Andrew's. Sure the odds are against poor Bhajji. They say Brad Hog called Indians as 'Bastards'. Hearing for that will happen later. All this is so un-cricket. What Bhajji did, if he did, is not worthy of pride, but as Siddhu put it, when Australians do it, its called mental disintegration and when Indians do it, its called racial abuse.

How does it matter if there was no corroborative evidence. After all, in spite of corroborative evidence against Steve Bucknor and Mark Benson's decision, no action seems to have been taken. I hope it soon will.

For now, I think India should only demand that this match be given unofficial status. Then at least we have an outside chance to win the series and give the Australians what they deserve. A humiliating defeat.

Thumbs down and a BIG ZERO to the Australian team.
Minus Ten to Ricky Ponting, Adam Gilchrist & Mathew Clarke.
Minus Hundred to Steve Bucknor & Mark Benson, the Third Umpire and the Match Referee.

Random Naughty Instance #43 - Prangsters' Passions

There used to be this chubby boy (nickname - Litoo) in my neighborhood. He was also in the same school as I was. When I was in 11th grade (16yrs), he was in 8th, and he had a huge crush on a girl in 9th grade.

A bully in the girls class also had a crush on her. Now the bully gets to know about Litoo's unspoken fantasies and is contemplating a duel. All this while, the girl is hardly even aware of her own existence.

Enter Crimson, and his gang of fun-loving prangsters (gangster+prankster) B, P & R. We decide to get Litoo upto the fight. Now Litoo is not only chubby, but huge and gone dumb since being love struck. We motivate Litoo no end to fight for his love. We make him challenge the bully in public (like, school public) for a duel on a certain date and time, while we (big boys) stand next to him so no one dare touch him.

The training period begins. We teach him tricks that we ourselves never knew. I hear the PT teacher mention "solar plexus", and bingo! Apart from the regular areas, we also train Litoo to aim for the solar plexus. Just ONE punch, right at the target and the bully will become a pile of bull crap.

The day arrives, a little bit of crowd has also gathered. Bully comes close. Bully laughs. Litoo is burning with fury. A raging dragon looks like a pussy cat in front of his expression. Litoo closes his eyes, and swings his clenched fist and goes for the kill.

THWACK! A few groans are heard. And a THUD! The bully is down.

Litoo is overjoyed to tears. We go hurray!!!

The little girl still had no clue what the hell was happening.

Random Naughty Instance # 89 - A Matter Of Principals ...& Teachers

I dont know if I have ever mentioned this here, but I came across this gem of a site called Avanoo.com a few months ago. I have been a regular there, and most of my recent posts have originally been published on Avanoo first.
As a blogger, the best thing about Avanoo is the constant stimulation it gives. As a human being, Avanoo has a larger purpose of making the world better. And I am excited about it!
Apart from the amazing variety of interesting minds present at Avanoo, the stimulation is also there due to this concept of creating "projects". Anyone can create a project about something that they are passionate about, or want to discuss and others can contribute.
At Avanoo, everyone shares their worlds this way. So I created this project called "Naughtier Than Thou" , where everyine can share their stories of naughtiness, whether as a child or not! ;)
This was originally posted here.

***

In 9th class, I had a Hindi teacher called MP, who was infamous for her strictness and stingyness in marking her students.
In a school situated in Bangalore (where no one speaks Hindi as their mother tongue) I, hailing from the North (U.P.) with Hindi as my mother-tongue, felt an ego boost in her classes. However, she wasnt the loyal type. Her partiality towards a local girl, who was also the class topper, made MP give me lesser marks than her in the class tests.

I have never been the one to take injustice lying down. And extracting revenge required a mix of strategic planning, stealth, agility and emotional maturity.

I devised a flawless plan to throw ink on her clothes with a leaking ink pen. This was to be done from behind, while she would be entering the class and walking towards the blackboard. A few of my classmates were taken into confidence, and the plan was successfully executed. Not just once. But thrice. My joy knew no bounds and I was sort of an underground hero among my classmates. No one liked her you see.

4 isnt a lucky number for me I guess. Thats the attempt in which my plan failed. She was aware. 3 days of spoilt expensive sarees had taught her to be alert. And this time she turned back instantly. I was quick as lightening to come back to my innocuous position of reading a book. She was confused.
She asked all the 5 boys sitting close to that spot to stand up. She demanded the truth and silence is what she got. No one said a word. She spoke of dire consequences like "zero in a class test". The other boys were quiet, but their eyes were pleading. Not to her but to me. They wanted me to accept my mistake so they are not harmed.

I was in a dilemma. I thought to myself, if everyone remained quiet, nothing would happen. And thats when she pulled a rabbit from her hat. She said that she had a huge dog who could sniff lies and that she would make the dog bite the liar. How did she know I was scared of dogs? And imagine, I actually believed her! The truth involuntarily poured out of my mouth like a flowing river.

She took me to the prinicipals' office and I went back on my words! The principal promised that he wont beat me up if I told him what exactly happened. Lo and behold! I believed him too! A few honest sentences and I heard a loud thwack on my cheek before the pinching pain began to take effect. I was shattered.

Anyway, my Dad is great. He supported me. But told me that I should learn from this mistake and change myself for good!

I changed my school.

:)

PS. If you decide to share yours (whether on Avanoo or here), let me know!

On WIll Power & Reality, Part 2

Its cold, and I am thinking about my theory of will power. Is it possible to change the weather using my will? If all the people in the world willed it together, at the same moment, would it happen? The answere seems no, but thats probably because I am bound by my education, conditioning and current set of perceptions.
Or, may be there are certain things, like mathematics, music and weather, that are an inherent part of the reality of the universe. Whether we exist or not, music remains. Whether conch shells exist or not the fibonacci series remains, and whether clouds form or not, fractals remain.

So our will power possibly cant affect what is beyond us. It can only affect the illusions that we create for ourselves. The illusions called success, failure, ambitions, progress, development, thoughts, philosophy, happiness, grief, love etc. I will refer to them as illusory-reality because I am not comfortable calling them real, but they affect us none the less.

"The human will, in isolation, is absolute and omnipotent. It is limited only by the limits of imagination, which is the origin of all creation. The mind imagines, and the will brings it alive. Every possibility first exists in the mind, and then comes to the real-illusory world."

Quantum reality, they say, is a 'probable' reality. Sub atomic particles are actually not particles, but probablity clouds of 'possible presence' in a given space-time fabric. The moment they are observed, one of the many probabilities is realised, and an illusion of the presence of a particle at that point in space-time is formed.
Our will, I think, is capable of affecting these minute probabilities, thus creating the most fundamemtal level of the illusory-reality that aggregates into what we called day to day life.
Thoughts, which can be considered as electromagnetic patterns travelling through our brain-cells, are the raw material of will. Your will is thus that invisible connection between you and your illusory-reality.

You really can do anything if you will it strong enough. And if you were the only human being in the world, you would actually be God! (in terms of being omnipotent). There would be nothing else that could drive the universe, except you.
But you are not alone. You are surrounded by numerous potential Gods, and each of them has a will working their own way. So if you want something to happen, and your neighboring God does not, its the strength of your will against his that will decide the outcome (assuming you both were the only existing entities). Conversion of your 'will' into 'reality' is only affected and aided/curtailed, by someone else's will to create its own reality. If both wills arent contradictory, they will 'really' coexist. Else they can hinder each other, and even annihilate each others' effects.

The effect of someone else's will, on your reality, is also decided by the extent of awareness that each of you have about the other. So if you are surrounded by people who think and wish good for you, and you are aware of them, good things will happen to you. Similarly, if there is someone millions of miles away, who wishes good for you and you are aware of it, it will help. The same effect will be negated by the presence of people wishing bad for you. And of course, what you wish for yourself and how strongly you do it, is the biggest factor that creates your illusory-reality.

Thus, more people we have thinking in a harmonious manner, constructive intereference of human will happens. Whatever gets ceated, or the reality around us that we live in, is thus a complex dynamic outcome of these infinite interactions and interferences (constructive & destructive) of the innumerous human 'wills' working 24/7.

Lets pause here for a moment and think. Assuming all this theorising were true, why dont people think "good" for everyone in general? Wont it be the most obvious thing to do? How do clashes, violence, unnatural deaths and destruction happen so often? What was that enlightened man thinking when he said love peace and harmony for all?

Why dont all the Gods realise themselves and understand each other?
Probably because we all exist at different levels of understanding. And that enlightened man reached a level, from where he could understand all.

~~~End Of Part 2~~~