"No. I don't believe that Ivan! When it comes to the extent to which a human can be violent towards their own type, theres a limit. But these...things! One doesn't know how far will they go before they stop. If ever they stop."
Dr Bianca Lever was shuddering with fear and rage. She had never realized how quickly her journey had brought her so far. In less than 200 years she had managed to reach the pinnacle of the new human existence. Her friend, and now a co-parliamentarian, Ivan D'lyst, was standing stoic as a rock.
"Oh! you'll be surprised. And moreover, they are more human than a human can be Bianca!"
"Not for me. I can't even imagine them as one. And you know that Ivan. They don't have the capability of attachment!"
"Capability or flaw? Irrespective, all the more reason why they are a safer bet for the mission."
Ivan D'Lyst was as convoluted as a flagpole. And could handle flutter as easily. He was aware of his shortcomings too. He didn't have faith in human beings!
"Tell me something Bianca. How far is too far?"
"This could be a new beginning Ivan, or this could be the end of it all. You know the odds. They don't favor any. I fear they will use the X2RMN8 more readily than any human ever will. What stops them from it the moment they have a moral justification? They wouldn't feel the pain, and we will be scraped off this planet for ever like an unwanted layer of rust! Doesn't that make you cringe for God's sake!?"
Unruffled as ever, Ivan moved towards the screen to turn off the time warp and reconnect with the Intra-Existential Parliament.
"Nothing makes me cringe. And we have been in discussion far too long. The parliament may not realise this but outside the forum limits, time is still moving. So, a Human Contingent it is? And you lead the charge? Remember Bianca, its just a recommendation you are making."
She knew how much weight her recommendations carried. After all she had created them. Her mind leapt back to the dilemma she had faced when she was expected to terminate a Humonian. The Humonian had killed Bianca's trusted human guard in an attempt to save her life. Of course, he might have as easily killed her, if only he fully realised the repercussions of her decisions. Laws were laws. And that calm satisfied look in his eyes, of a task well done, had haunted Bianca forever.
Still, she had signed the papers. Only because she knew the Humonians were idealists. No decision pertaining to a social set up can always be devoid of total harm. Someone somewhere gets a raw deal, and Humonians were too evolved to accept such disharmony.
Unfortunately, they were here to stay and they never took the first wrong step. No wonder their communities were way more peaceful than Human's. It was only a matter of time before all humans perished, and Humonians inherited whatever was left of the earth.
"Just one more minute Ivan. Hold on to the warp. I think I have decided."
He looked at her, awaiting the next words.
"Human it is. But, you lead the charge!"
Ivan smiled. He had been expecting the dilemma and been waiting for this moment for the last 147 years. Without saying another word... he shot her.
He was in charge.
And he felt satisfied with his first right step.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Deconstructing Harry: I am embarrassed...
"Deconstructing Harry"...a deceptively autobiographical movie written and directed by Woody Allen. Its HILLLARIOUS to the core. Yes its profane and vulgar, but tell me one person who didn't laugh at least once, while watching a porn flick. No, this isn't a porn flick.
I have not seen much of Woody, although I am sure that henceforth I will. DH is one of the most brashly honest piece of work I have seen. The backdrop of the story is that of a self proclaimed spiritually and morally bankrupt writer facing a writer's block. And the reason why it stayed with me is that I could see quiet a handful of myself in Harry/Woody!
Now, although thats not very important, but its a good enough reason for embarrassment.
Heres what this character is like -
- 60+ and still a boy
- loves his son but can't understand marriage
- doesn't believe in God but is sure of Satan
- believes in physics, black holes and sexual encounters of all kinds
- obnoxious freely hopelessly honest chain lover
- doesn't like being lonely, can't keep wives
- irritatingly argumentative while defending himself
- genuinely innocent while defending himself
- can't understand women
- can't live without women
- flirt, liar, cheat... for people in general
- truthful, honest, fair in his own weird unreal way
A few good thing that I could pick were -
- doesn't like tradition, thinks of all human kind as ONE
- honest to himself
- funny
- actually innocent (Nah.. I am just being good to him)
His treatment of love, marriage, children, sexuality and religion are not necessarily incisive but are very humorous. I suggest you pick it up if you want to watch a weird satirical comedy that gives you a peek into a strange master artist's psychology.
I have not seen much of Woody, although I am sure that henceforth I will. DH is one of the most brashly honest piece of work I have seen. The backdrop of the story is that of a self proclaimed spiritually and morally bankrupt writer facing a writer's block. And the reason why it stayed with me is that I could see quiet a handful of myself in Harry/Woody!
Now, although thats not very important, but its a good enough reason for embarrassment.
Heres what this character is like -
- 60+ and still a boy
- loves his son but can't understand marriage
- doesn't believe in God but is sure of Satan
- believes in physics, black holes and sexual encounters of all kinds
- obnoxious freely hopelessly honest chain lover
- doesn't like being lonely, can't keep wives
- irritatingly argumentative while defending himself
- genuinely innocent while defending himself
- can't understand women
- can't live without women
- flirt, liar, cheat... for people in general
- truthful, honest, fair in his own weird unreal way
A few good thing that I could pick were -
- doesn't like tradition, thinks of all human kind as ONE
- honest to himself
- funny
- actually innocent (Nah.. I am just being good to him)
His treatment of love, marriage, children, sexuality and religion are not necessarily incisive but are very humorous. I suggest you pick it up if you want to watch a weird satirical comedy that gives you a peek into a strange master artist's psychology.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Oh My God! - About Infinity, Probability & A Hidden Paradox
What follows is a set of spontaneous thoughts that were allowed to flow out as words. No layer of editing or structure has been applied. Whatever little structure exists is intrinsic. The way it got created. It may not make immediate sense all the time.
7 Points In My Mind
1. Infinity is being fed into the mind regularly. All the senses, sensing all the time. Information, knowledge, debates and arguments. Blankness too.
2. Mind can't comprehend everything thats fed into it.
3. Mind makes sense by organizing this complex data/information feed, on the basis of likely assumptions made through past experiences.
4. Mind tends to believe the sense it makes, and thus believes itself.
5. Mind also tends to question itself.
6. Belief and questioning help the mind to sharpen its assumptions.
&
7. Mind is "amazed" at all that which goes 'against' its assumptions.
***Amazement, Awe, Wonder, Distress, Bewilderment***
Amazement is an expression of a mistake that does not hurt.
Distress is an expression of a mistake that hurts.
Mistake is what went against the mind's assumption.
Hurt is a driving force that makes the mind change its assumptions.
Belief*Questioning*Mistakes*Amazement*Hurt
Poetic Conclusion:
"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption and keeping it open to imbibe change without getting hurt is GOD."
Non Poetic Version:
"God = Incomprehensible Data"
How?
7 More Points
1. The Mind assumes an event as less likely or more likely to happen, basis the assumptions made from the limited amount of data that it has been able to comprehend and structure sensibly.
2. When a 'mistake' happens, the mind either reacts in amazement or with distress.
3. Both the situations seem beyond its control.
4. Mind needs a support system to get back to its process of "perception/reception ---> comprehension ---> belief/questioning ---> Assumption". Reboot.
5. God is that Support system. A notion that lets mind forgive itself for the mistakes it made.
6. God thus is nothing but some 'incomprehensible data' that helps the mind to go back to the state of believing & questioning. Because Infinity/Incomprehensible data is where it all started.
&
7. Probability is one such incomprehensible set of notions.
God elicits awe and wonder. Its a Universal Set of all that we believe to be beyond our control. Probability is beyond our control by definition.
Event A: Very likely to happen. Happens everyday. We are amazed when it doesn't happen. (Eg. A politician refusing to take bribe)
Event B: Very likely to happen. But we know there are times when it may not happen. (Eg. Continuous success. Sachin hitting a century in every game, or Steven Spielberg making a blockbuster everytime.)
Event C: Less likely to happen, but we know it happens. At times we cant even believe when it happens. (Eg. You winning any game of luck. Poker, Tambola, Scratch card or state lottery. Earthquake on Tv vs Earthquake in our city.)
Event D: Unlikely to happen. Most of us think that they know it cant happen (Eg. Extra terrestrial life, Someone waking up after dying)
All the sources of our awe, amazement, wonder, distress and hurt come from some such improbable event that went against our mind's assumptions.
The vastness of probabilities can never be comprehended by the mind. And if an event, that has lesser probability of occurrence, actually occurs, the mind is amazed and needs to define such an occurrence. We end up calling this 'mistake' as God.
Thus God, by definition, needs to be incomprehensible. It implies miracles, which are nothing but realization of a rare probability. Thus one brings the notion of faith into picture. Belief in God (The Incomprehensible) implies having faith, and faith has no reason.
Just because something is rare does not mean its occurrence is inexplicable. And just because something is inexplicable does not mean it is guiding or controlling us. This is an extremely stone age thought.
Those rare events, that are interpreted as God's signals, become noticeable by the virtue of their unlikeliness of occurrence. A guiding force is a notion, that a certain set of probabilities will dominate over all other possible outcomes, because of the presence of an external factor. There is no way to find out if that external factor ACTUALLY affected the outcome or not, because one cant go back in time and repeat the event sans the external factor.
Thus, the intrinsic value of the Stone Age God (That Incomprehensible Power Guiding My Life) is null. That God is only as valuable as the value that WE associate with/allocate to it, in order to support rebooting of our system when the mind's assumptions are proven wrong.
'Less Likely' is NOT equal to 'Unlikely/Will Never Happen'.
When Event A is more likely than B, its the occurrence of B that will amaze you.
Probability does not rule out the occurrence of B and thus, leaves that door of hope open, which makes you want to ensure that B happens instead of A. And when it happens, out of sheer probability, you tend to correlate the steps you took and the strategies you applied, and suggest that if the entire 'process' is repeated, you can make B occur over A, again and again! Thats how Knowledge is generated. And we tend to spread this knowledge without realizing the complete nature of the context.
If you didn't do anything, neither A nor B might occur (A third Probability C may). So doing, which is in your control, takes precedence over occurring, which is beyond your control. So you must keep doing what you think you are supposed to do.
And this cycle goes on and on. And its a fight you cant ever win inspite of having won, because you cant ever be sure of it. But thats OK.
This is where, I think, the poetic idea of God begins to make sense.
"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption and keeping it open to imbibing change without getting hurt is GOD."
7 Points In My Mind
1. Infinity is being fed into the mind regularly. All the senses, sensing all the time. Information, knowledge, debates and arguments. Blankness too.
2. Mind can't comprehend everything thats fed into it.
3. Mind makes sense by organizing this complex data/information feed, on the basis of likely assumptions made through past experiences.
4. Mind tends to believe the sense it makes, and thus believes itself.
5. Mind also tends to question itself.
6. Belief and questioning help the mind to sharpen its assumptions.
&
7. Mind is "amazed" at all that which goes 'against' its assumptions.
***Amazement, Awe, Wonder, Distress, Bewilderment***
Amazement is an expression of a mistake that does not hurt.
Distress is an expression of a mistake that hurts.
Mistake is what went against the mind's assumption.
Hurt is a driving force that makes the mind change its assumptions.
Belief*Questioning*Mistakes*Amazement*Hurt
Poetic Conclusion:
"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption and keeping it open to imbibe change without getting hurt is GOD."
Non Poetic Version:
"God = Incomprehensible Data"
How?
7 More Points
1. The Mind assumes an event as less likely or more likely to happen, basis the assumptions made from the limited amount of data that it has been able to comprehend and structure sensibly.
2. When a 'mistake' happens, the mind either reacts in amazement or with distress.
3. Both the situations seem beyond its control.
4. Mind needs a support system to get back to its process of "perception/reception ---> comprehension ---> belief/questioning ---> Assumption". Reboot.
5. God is that Support system. A notion that lets mind forgive itself for the mistakes it made.
6. God thus is nothing but some 'incomprehensible data' that helps the mind to go back to the state of believing & questioning. Because Infinity/Incomprehensible data is where it all started.
&
7. Probability is one such incomprehensible set of notions.
God elicits awe and wonder. Its a Universal Set of all that we believe to be beyond our control. Probability is beyond our control by definition.
Event A: Very likely to happen. Happens everyday. We are amazed when it doesn't happen. (Eg. A politician refusing to take bribe)
Event B: Very likely to happen. But we know there are times when it may not happen. (Eg. Continuous success. Sachin hitting a century in every game, or Steven Spielberg making a blockbuster everytime.)
Event C: Less likely to happen, but we know it happens. At times we cant even believe when it happens. (Eg. You winning any game of luck. Poker, Tambola, Scratch card or state lottery. Earthquake on Tv vs Earthquake in our city.)
Event D: Unlikely to happen. Most of us think that they know it cant happen (Eg. Extra terrestrial life, Someone waking up after dying)
All the sources of our awe, amazement, wonder, distress and hurt come from some such improbable event that went against our mind's assumptions.
The vastness of probabilities can never be comprehended by the mind. And if an event, that has lesser probability of occurrence, actually occurs, the mind is amazed and needs to define such an occurrence. We end up calling this 'mistake' as God.
Thus God, by definition, needs to be incomprehensible. It implies miracles, which are nothing but realization of a rare probability. Thus one brings the notion of faith into picture. Belief in God (The Incomprehensible) implies having faith, and faith has no reason.
Just because something is rare does not mean its occurrence is inexplicable. And just because something is inexplicable does not mean it is guiding or controlling us. This is an extremely stone age thought.
Those rare events, that are interpreted as God's signals, become noticeable by the virtue of their unlikeliness of occurrence. A guiding force is a notion, that a certain set of probabilities will dominate over all other possible outcomes, because of the presence of an external factor. There is no way to find out if that external factor ACTUALLY affected the outcome or not, because one cant go back in time and repeat the event sans the external factor.
Thus, the intrinsic value of the Stone Age God (That Incomprehensible Power Guiding My Life) is null. That God is only as valuable as the value that WE associate with/allocate to it, in order to support rebooting of our system when the mind's assumptions are proven wrong.
'Less Likely' is NOT equal to 'Unlikely/Will Never Happen'.
When Event A is more likely than B, its the occurrence of B that will amaze you.
Probability does not rule out the occurrence of B and thus, leaves that door of hope open, which makes you want to ensure that B happens instead of A. And when it happens, out of sheer probability, you tend to correlate the steps you took and the strategies you applied, and suggest that if the entire 'process' is repeated, you can make B occur over A, again and again! Thats how Knowledge is generated. And we tend to spread this knowledge without realizing the complete nature of the context.
If you didn't do anything, neither A nor B might occur (A third Probability C may). So doing, which is in your control, takes precedence over occurring, which is beyond your control. So you must keep doing what you think you are supposed to do.
And this cycle goes on and on. And its a fight you cant ever win inspite of having won, because you cant ever be sure of it. But thats OK.
This is where, I think, the poetic idea of God begins to make sense.
"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption and keeping it open to imbibing change without getting hurt is GOD."
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Just The Moment
It wasn't until after she left that I realized she was actually gone. I had been looking at her for quiet a while as she was approaching the auto stand. She didn't seem to care that I was. And I didn't care even if she did.
"Mind sharing the ride and save the planet from some pollution?" is what I had wanted to say, looking straight into her eyes.
"Mind sharing the ride and save some moolah?" is what I ended up saying instead.
She thought for a moment. Men in Delhi don't have a good reputation. I guess I looked harmless enough for her to nod in affirmative. She made some space and I sat inside the auto.
"Vivek."
"Ayesha."
"?"
"Ayesha!"
Silence.
"Awkward silence? Or is it that I am not supposed to get to know you?" would not have been an optimum way to break this silence. I let it prevail.
She opened something to eat. Didn't offer. "Don't you think you should offer some?" I thought to myself but didn't utter.
I was oddly glad. Thats the kind of bad manners I am famous for.
"I am sorry for barging in like this. But you look deliciously pretty and I just wanted to be around you a little bit longer" I thought to myself again and didn't say a word. It would have been nice to tell her this, with that innocently charming nonchalant attitude of mine, and then turn the other way without giving her a chance to respond. But I just didn't feel like disturbing the silence.
Silence.
Probably because it was getting prettier, the silence. I was liking it. She, most probably was indifferent to it. Not giving it, or me, any thought.
I would love to wonder that she wanted me to break the silence. To say something that created a spark.
I think the twinkle in my eyes is usually enough. Narcissist. No words spoken.
I could see her through the mirror. The usual beautiful things that can happen to girls on chilly nights. Her hair felt free to gently brush across her face and the lights were doing little tricks to make her look prettier. She looked unaware of herself. Possibly the way I looked unaware of myself. I soon realized my hair too were feeling free to cover my eyes. The auto guy was fast. Enough wind was being rumbled up for me to feel cold and for her to look beautiful.
I wanted to tell her that I could have said nicer things to make her feel nice, but somehow I didn't feel like saying anything tonight, and that it didn't matter if she didn't speak much either. The silence was nicer and I would rather quietly see how the lights were doing little tricks to make her look prettier. I wanted to share things with her, and "that moment" seemed like the best thing to share.
I wanted to let her know that I was excited to see her, to be with her and it really didn't matter if all this didn't matter to her. And if she ever met me again, I would tell her that how beautiful I thought she was, and how wonderful it would be to know how beautiful she actually is.
But for now, it was just the moment, and it was many.
"Mind sharing the ride and save the planet from some pollution?" is what I had wanted to say, looking straight into her eyes.
"Mind sharing the ride and save some moolah?" is what I ended up saying instead.
She thought for a moment. Men in Delhi don't have a good reputation. I guess I looked harmless enough for her to nod in affirmative. She made some space and I sat inside the auto.
"Vivek."
"Ayesha."
"?"
"Ayesha!"
Silence.
"Awkward silence? Or is it that I am not supposed to get to know you?" would not have been an optimum way to break this silence. I let it prevail.
She opened something to eat. Didn't offer. "Don't you think you should offer some?" I thought to myself but didn't utter.
I was oddly glad. Thats the kind of bad manners I am famous for.
"I am sorry for barging in like this. But you look deliciously pretty and I just wanted to be around you a little bit longer" I thought to myself again and didn't say a word. It would have been nice to tell her this, with that innocently charming nonchalant attitude of mine, and then turn the other way without giving her a chance to respond. But I just didn't feel like disturbing the silence.
Silence.
Probably because it was getting prettier, the silence. I was liking it. She, most probably was indifferent to it. Not giving it, or me, any thought.
I would love to wonder that she wanted me to break the silence. To say something that created a spark.
I think the twinkle in my eyes is usually enough. Narcissist. No words spoken.
I could see her through the mirror. The usual beautiful things that can happen to girls on chilly nights. Her hair felt free to gently brush across her face and the lights were doing little tricks to make her look prettier. She looked unaware of herself. Possibly the way I looked unaware of myself. I soon realized my hair too were feeling free to cover my eyes. The auto guy was fast. Enough wind was being rumbled up for me to feel cold and for her to look beautiful.
I wanted to tell her that I could have said nicer things to make her feel nice, but somehow I didn't feel like saying anything tonight, and that it didn't matter if she didn't speak much either. The silence was nicer and I would rather quietly see how the lights were doing little tricks to make her look prettier. I wanted to share things with her, and "that moment" seemed like the best thing to share.
I wanted to let her know that I was excited to see her, to be with her and it really didn't matter if all this didn't matter to her. And if she ever met me again, I would tell her that how beautiful I thought she was, and how wonderful it would be to know how beautiful she actually is.
But for now, it was just the moment, and it was many.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Ponting: Racism Is The Root Cause Of Road Accidents
This is the scoop of the century guys. A super exclusive interview with Ricky Ponting post the WACA fiasco. This story also reveals the truth behind the racism charges. He was heard muttering under his breath something on the lines of, "Yess.. this is my chance to show them I am innocent".
Crimson: After all the hullo ballo post Sydney, how does it feel to loose at perth?
Ponting: If you are trying to question my cricketing skills, you shouldn't be standing there!
Crimson (Surprised): Whew! I thought you were keen on giving this interview, but you seem a little stressed out... mate! Are you sure you want to continue?
Ponting: Of course! Don't mind that Maite! Its just a habit. I am not used to getting drubbed, so am using every opportunity to drub others. Basically that was my honest answer to the first question. I am feeling a little sad though. I thought I was doing the right thing and everybody opposed me.
By the way, if you are questioning my eagerness to share my thoughts, you shouldn't be standing there!
Crimson: What 'right thing' are you talking about? And just for your information, I am sitting.
Ponting: You know, the racist thing. I thought it would be a nice example to call Harbhajan a racist and help spread awareness about traffic rules.
Crimson (Baffled): Racism & Traffic rules? I am sorry if I am being daft here but, what exactly are you trying to say?
Ponting: Oh come on Maite! Speeding and racing are the root cause of accidents on roads. And when umpire Bucknor told me and Symonds to charge Bhajji as a racist we agreed. We have raced a lot against Bhajji around the hotels and we think he is a darn good racist. Might as well charge behind him and prove that we play "hard and fair". I really couldn't get the monkey connect there, but I guess Symonds liked the idea so we went ahead with it.
Crimson (Baffled, raised to power 100): Do you even know what racism means?
Ponting: I am not sure mate, but if you are questioning my vocabulary then you shouldn't be standing there!
Crimson: Ok Ok. We can move ahead. Guess the racism thing has been misunderstood completely. Are you planning to drop the charges against Harbhajan? Given that you charged him with over-speeding, should he be punished for racism?
Ponting: No Maite! Harbhajan said something bad about Symonds' mother as well. He has confessed it. We did not get it earlier. But now that we have got it, in the spirit of the game, we wont let it go.
Crimson: We thought he called Symonds a monkey. Where does the mother fit in?
Ponting: I don't know, I am confused myself. He said something like "Teri Maan Ki...". He didn't finish the sentence but we know his intentions were wrong. But I think we wont drop the charges because between over-speeding, monkey calling and mother taunts, Harbhajan must have done at least one thing wrong. So we think he gotta go.
Crimson: Well, lets move on to cricket now. What are your plans for the next test?
Ponting: Earlier Harbhajan was getting me out, and now its Sharma. I think we can charge Sharma as a racist and win the match. He sure is bowling fast too. So this time I know we wont get it wrong. Again, I am not sure if bowling fast and driving fast are related, but at times you just gotta go with the flow. And then may be we can remain the best team in the world, and I may become the best batsman in the world.
Crimson: Don't you think thats unfair? Sharma has just started his career. And by the way, do you know that Sachin might be conferred the Knighthood by Great Britain? Thats what happens to best batsmen. Look at Sir Don Bradman. You are not even close.
Ponting: If you are trying to question my fairness, you shouldn't be standing there!
Talking about Sharma, I told you, we play "hard and fair". And "unfair" is also a type of "fair". On knighthood, I usually like to be famous during the day, so I am not really worried.
Crimson (Slaps himself on the forehead with the center of his palm): One last question. Do you plan to go to school anytime soon?
Ponting: If you are trying to question my whatever, you shouldn't be standing there!! I am sorry, I didn't know what you were questioning and I was dying to say it again.
No, with all the cricket happening, school seems a little low on priority. Although, Symonds did mention he wanted to go to school cause he was not sure if monkey was a 'speeding racist car' or an 'Indian deity'. They have him all confused. Poor guy!
But thanks for the suggestion. We as a team learn from our mistakes and will work on them.
Crimson: Thanks a lot for giving us your time. All the best for Adelaide.
Ponting: Thanks Crimson. All the best to you for getting 'laid' too! *wink* Cheers Maite!
Crimson: After all the hullo ballo post Sydney, how does it feel to loose at perth?
Ponting: If you are trying to question my cricketing skills, you shouldn't be standing there!
Crimson (Surprised): Whew! I thought you were keen on giving this interview, but you seem a little stressed out... mate! Are you sure you want to continue?
Ponting: Of course! Don't mind that Maite! Its just a habit. I am not used to getting drubbed, so am using every opportunity to drub others. Basically that was my honest answer to the first question. I am feeling a little sad though. I thought I was doing the right thing and everybody opposed me.
By the way, if you are questioning my eagerness to share my thoughts, you shouldn't be standing there!
Crimson: What 'right thing' are you talking about? And just for your information, I am sitting.
Ponting: You know, the racist thing. I thought it would be a nice example to call Harbhajan a racist and help spread awareness about traffic rules.
Crimson (Baffled): Racism & Traffic rules? I am sorry if I am being daft here but, what exactly are you trying to say?
Ponting: Oh come on Maite! Speeding and racing are the root cause of accidents on roads. And when umpire Bucknor told me and Symonds to charge Bhajji as a racist we agreed. We have raced a lot against Bhajji around the hotels and we think he is a darn good racist. Might as well charge behind him and prove that we play "hard and fair". I really couldn't get the monkey connect there, but I guess Symonds liked the idea so we went ahead with it.
Crimson (Baffled, raised to power 100): Do you even know what racism means?
Ponting: I am not sure mate, but if you are questioning my vocabulary then you shouldn't be standing there!
Crimson: Ok Ok. We can move ahead. Guess the racism thing has been misunderstood completely. Are you planning to drop the charges against Harbhajan? Given that you charged him with over-speeding, should he be punished for racism?
Ponting: No Maite! Harbhajan said something bad about Symonds' mother as well. He has confessed it. We did not get it earlier. But now that we have got it, in the spirit of the game, we wont let it go.
Crimson: We thought he called Symonds a monkey. Where does the mother fit in?
Ponting: I don't know, I am confused myself. He said something like "Teri Maan Ki...". He didn't finish the sentence but we know his intentions were wrong. But I think we wont drop the charges because between over-speeding, monkey calling and mother taunts, Harbhajan must have done at least one thing wrong. So we think he gotta go.
Crimson: Well, lets move on to cricket now. What are your plans for the next test?
Ponting: Earlier Harbhajan was getting me out, and now its Sharma. I think we can charge Sharma as a racist and win the match. He sure is bowling fast too. So this time I know we wont get it wrong. Again, I am not sure if bowling fast and driving fast are related, but at times you just gotta go with the flow. And then may be we can remain the best team in the world, and I may become the best batsman in the world.
Crimson: Don't you think thats unfair? Sharma has just started his career. And by the way, do you know that Sachin might be conferred the Knighthood by Great Britain? Thats what happens to best batsmen. Look at Sir Don Bradman. You are not even close.
Ponting: If you are trying to question my fairness, you shouldn't be standing there!
Talking about Sharma, I told you, we play "hard and fair". And "unfair" is also a type of "fair". On knighthood, I usually like to be famous during the day, so I am not really worried.
Crimson (Slaps himself on the forehead with the center of his palm): One last question. Do you plan to go to school anytime soon?
Ponting: If you are trying to question my whatever, you shouldn't be standing there!! I am sorry, I didn't know what you were questioning and I was dying to say it again.
No, with all the cricket happening, school seems a little low on priority. Although, Symonds did mention he wanted to go to school cause he was not sure if monkey was a 'speeding racist car' or an 'Indian deity'. They have him all confused. Poor guy!
But thanks for the suggestion. We as a team learn from our mistakes and will work on them.
Crimson: Thanks a lot for giving us your time. All the best for Adelaide.
Ponting: Thanks Crimson. All the best to you for getting 'laid' too! *wink* Cheers Maite!
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