Friday, April 18, 2014

She is alive

She is alive.

She has a universe of her own. Universes, I guess.

She throbs and pulsates with such imagination that worlds get created by a mere glimpse of her thoughts.

She makes a wanderer feel the contentment of being found. And still keep wandering.
She and innocence giggle together. She talks to wonders. She plays games with little shiny things that smile with the sun, dance with the rain, and huddle together with happiness when storms claim to dance.

She lives like no one else ever lived.
Ever will.

She is so alive.


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Horseshoe Garage - The Dreamer's Cult Is Born

Disclaimer: This is NOT a review. I have read 3-4 drafts of Horseshoe Garage, have proofed the final version multiple times and am a huge fan of Hitesha's writing. This is sufficient to raise doubts about the impartiality of what I have to say. And then I love Hitesha to bits. That really makes me incapable of genuinely reviewing her books in an unbiased way.

We all dream. Some dream small, some dream big, some let go of their dreams, and some don't even feel the 'letting go' because they seem to know that the dream will always be just that, a dream. We all put efforts in our own ways to achieve, or not achieve, these dreams. And then there are some who dream crazy. So crazy that the dream itself is the reality for them. There is nothing like 'what if the dream doesn't come true?', because the dream is the truth!

Horsehoe Garage PosterHorseshoe Garage is a gripping tale about all of these people, especially about one crazy dreamer of a woman, told in the context of a car racing dream. I have been reading reviews (across flipkart, crossword and landmark) about how the book has solid detailed descriptions, how the characters are relatable, how 'unputdownable' the book is, how it qualifies across all criteria of a good book; story, drama, real characters, romance and so on. And then it has cars, racing, hot chicks (one of them a mechanic, and the pivot of the story) and exciting techy stuff to boot. I have also read that some of the parts towards the end seem stretched or slightly over-dramatised.


While I broadly agree with it, I feel there is one more critical element in the book which makes it truly great. The book has a heart. It has a thought and a philosophy that will connect with everyone who has ever dreamed of doing something insanely great. And if you have not, then it will make you want to dream crazy. This philosophy of the book cuts across situations, people and places and has the potential to tug at every heart.

Horseshoe Garage, in my mind, is about chasing down a dream with all the firepower, perseverance, friends and passion that you have, and giving it a shot like there is no tomorrow. If you have ever dreamed, the book will make you crave to pursue it. It will make the dreamer in you stronger and crazier. And if you have not, then, go ahead... read it!


I say, Horseshoe Garage is a Dreamer's Cult!

Thursday, December 06, 2012

CF Revived (Oh My God! - About Infinity, Probability & A Hidden Paradox)



What follows is a set of spontaneous thoughts that were allowed to flow out as words.

Semiotics is the science of meaning. How does God get meaning? This is an attempt to understand the meaning of God by decoding how our mind is hardwired to react and perceive the world. No layer of editing or structure has been applied. Whatever little structure exists is intrinsic. The way it got created.

7 Thoughts in Mind

1.      Infinity is being fed into the mind regularly. All the senses, sensing all the time. Information, knowledge, debates and arguments. Blankness too
2.      Mind can't comprehend everything that is fed into it
3.      Mind makes sense by organizing this complex data/information feed, on the basis of likely assumptions made through past experiences
4.      Mind tends to believe the sense it makes, and thus believes itself
5.      Mind also tends to question itself
6.      Belief and questioning help the mind to sharpen its assumptions
&
7.      Mind is "amazed" at all that which goes 'against' its assumptions.

***Amazement, Awe, Wonder, Distress, Bewilderment***

Amazement is an expression of a mistake that does not hurt
Distress is an expression of a mistake that hurts

Mistake is what went against the mind's assumption
Hurt is a driving force that makes the mind change its assumptions

Belief*Questioning*Mistakes*Amazement*Hurt

Poetic Conclusion:
"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption and keeping it open to imbibe change without getting hurt is GOD."

Non Poetic Version:
"God = Incomprehensible Data"

But how?


7        More Thoughts

1.      The Mind assumes an event as being less likely or more likely to happen, basis the assumptions made from the limited amount of data that it has been able to comprehend and structure sensibly
2.      When a 'mistake' happens, the mind either reacts in amazement or with distress
3.      Both the situations seem beyond its control
4.      Mind needs a support system to get back to its process of "perception/reception ---> comprehension ---> belief/questioning ---> Assumption". Reboot.
5.      God is that Support system. A notion that lets mind forgive itself for the mistakes it made
6.      God thus is nothing but some 'incomprehensible data' that helps the mind to go back to the state of believing & questioning. Because Infinity/Incomprehensible data is where it all started
&
7.      Probability is one such incomprehensible set of notions.

God elicits awe and wonder. It’s a Universal Set of all that we believe to be beyond our control. Probability is beyond our control by definition.

Event A: Very likely to happen. Happens everyday. We are amazed when it doesn't happen. (Eg. A politician refusing to take bribe)
Event B: Very likely to happen. But we know there are times when it may not happen. (Eg. Continuous success. Sachin hitting a century in every game)
Event C: Less likely to happen, but we know it happens. At times we can’t even believe when it happens. (Eg. You winning a game of Poker, Tambola, Scratch card or state lottery. Earthquake on Tv vs Earthquake in our city)
Event D: Unlikely to happen. Most of us think that they know it can’t happen (Eg. Extra terrestrial life, Someone waking up after dying)

All the sources of our awe, amazement, wonder, distress and hurt come from some such improbable event that went against our mind's assumptions.

The vastness of probabilities can never be comprehended by the mind. And if an event, that has lesser probability of occurrence, actually occurs, the mind is amazed and needs to define such an occurrence. We end up calling this 'mistake' as God.

Thus God, by definition, needs to be incomprehensible. It implies miracles, which are nothing but realization of a rare probability. Thus one brings the notion of faith into picture. Belief in God (The Incomprehensible) implies having faith, and faith has no reason.

Just because something is rare does not mean its occurrence is inexplicable. And just because something is inexplicable does not mean it is guiding or controlling us. This is a stone age thought.

Those rare events, that are interpreted as God's signals, become noticeable by the virtue of their unlikeliness of occurrence. A guiding force is a notion, that a certain set of probabilities will dominate over all other possible outcomes, because of the presence of an external factor. There is no way to find out if that external factor ACTUALLY affected the outcome or not, because one can’t go back in time and repeat the event sans the external factor.

Thus, the intrinsic value of the Stone Age God (That Incomprehensible Power Guiding My Life) is null. That God is only as valuable as the value WE associate with/allocate to it, in order to support rebooting of our system when the mind's assumptions are proven wrong.

'Less Likely' is NOT equal to 'Unlikely/Will Never Happen'.

When Event A is more likely than B, it’s the occurrence of B that will amaze you.

Probability does not rule out the occurrence of B and thus, leaves that door of Hope open, which makes you want to ensure that B happens instead of A. And when it happens, out of sheer probability, you tend to correlate the steps you took and the strategies you applied, and suggest that if the entire 'process' is repeated, you can make B occur over A, again and again! Thats how Knowledge is generated. And we tend to spread this knowledge at times without realizing the complete nature of the context.

If you didn't do anything, neither A nor B might occur (A third Probability C may). So doing (Karma), which is in your control, takes precedence over occurring, which is beyond your control. So you must keep doing what you think you are supposed to do.

And this cycle goes on and on. And it’s a fight you can never win inspite of having won, because you can never be sure of it. But thats OK.

This is where, I think, the poetic idea of God begins to make sense.

"The idea of not binding the mind with an assumption, and keeping it open to imbibing change without getting hurt is GOD."

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

How content...

I have written stories. I have read stories.

Some stories, such as these, leave me in a state of turmoil. A part of me finds them lovable, and another part of me wonders if I relate to them at all. So instead of smiling a half truth smile, I smile exactly the way I should.

Sometimes I feel like I am playing games with my soul, touching more than I can reach out to. I can play act well that way. And at other times, I wonder how calmly aimless my life is. I am still lost, not wanting to be found, drifting peacefully, content with my aimlessness.

And thats when these stories come up from nowhere. Hitting me with these waves, splashes, bursts of excitement and daring me to not be swept away. But you know what, I am as happy and content being swept away, as I am not.

A very thin line there between dead and content, isn't it?

So heres one -

Can a content man die?

The chase had ended and the drama was over. Each breath that they now took was drenched in this stunning silence. They loved watching movies together before going to bed, and this was yet another satisfying one. This time, a thriller.

As he slipped into his dream with the ease of his hand slipping into hers', warmly tucked under the blue blanket, she moved for the umpteenth time getting her sleeping posture just right. They had hardly begun to wander off into that blissful dream state, when he suddenly felt her soft but cold hand on his cheek. His eyes smiled and he knew it was morning. And she had again woken up, walked around the house, enjoyed the chill in the air, and now back to relish the warmth of a winter morning bed with her love in it. Yet another beautiful morning next to his girl, the girl with the prettiest smile in the whole world.

As she moved closer, he opened his eyes as much as he could, kissed the inside of her palm and pulled her into his arms, hugging her with every inch of his existence.

She felt soft and nice, and he felt content. A broad smile brushed his sleepy face and he slipped back into the dream. The dream of having your dream in your arms.

He was content, and dead to the world.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

at 31... i am feeling good

i just changed the look of my blog! yay! (i think its the woman inside me who is feeling good about it. not sure if that's a good thing, but then ...they say you get wiser with age!). so, after some umpteen attempts at restarting crimson feet, it just feels like it might finally happen. these things you can't explain... you just know it! isn't it? (tsk! not me.. its that woman again)

so i had a little jog down my blog. last most active phase of CF revolved primarily around this character i had created, called "Ramprasad Rasiya!". Apart from RR, there were a fair amount of posts revolving around the idea of god, will power, relationships, morality etc.

a lot has happened since then. i fell in love and got married. (and the rest is thanks to my wife). i ran a marathon. I have 2 dogs now. got my wife's debut novel published (and psst psst... her second novel might soon be out). i traveled way more in the last 3 years than i did in the previous 27. i am planning to buy my second car. i have finally started running and exercising again. i know a little more about a few more things, and worry lot less about many more.

i am wondering what might this phase of cf be all about. motivated by Roger Penrose's "Shadows Of The Mind" and a workshop on semiotics by Santosh Desai, these days i am exploring the idea of reality (sensory vs unassailable truth), perception, and meaning of things. i am also grappling with some deep and disturbing moral questions like "is it fair to say that more the number of fools it takes to screw up your day, better the human being you are?", or something less complicated and more frustrating like, "why does zoozoo drool so much?".

i wonder..

but one thing i know... at 31, i am feeling good! :)

Intellectual Property - Beware