on a personal note - let me propose

i want to fall in love... i have felt it before but have almost forgotten the feeling... i want to fall again... after a long time... i feel superkicked by merely imagining the possibility... i'd like to write for someone... a letter to my lover... say, we have known each other long enuf and cant help but decide to spend together this one single life that we have... still we wud know that this moment of decision is glorified by the bubbles of "being in love with someone", which is much more ephemeral than "loving someone"... we know that we also connect with each other at a level beyond these thoughts... so i'd like to write a letter to her... while she is trying to call me to tell me what she feels, i am totally oblivious of it all, and am penning down my feelings for her... we both feel the same... it will read something like this...

awake since 3 am… its 6 now… 4 missed calls from you didn’t wake me up…. cleaned up the room and took a shower…. had some fruits, and now… writing after a long time with so much of peace around… you know that 2 to 6 is possibly the only time when this stupid city isn’t moving, shouting or choking itself… u know it better!
with VH1 in the background and lights off, its just the right time and mood to make me susceptible to weakness and life… so, inadvertently I have been thinking of you since I woke up… and I realize there isn’t too much I wanna say to you these days… except.. lets get real and get married… I mean, to each other :)… I now feel that we wont need to "make it work" or smthng like that… I see us together… u’ll live ur life ur way, n so will I, my way... and we both will still have each other around whenever we want… free of any restrictions.. our marriage will be more like two friends sharing their space, thoughts, emotions, life and learning…

.. we will pursue all our interests and share our excitements... we live a new life everyday... and while we r living, if someday u feel that u shud have our baby... we will…. then we will be a little more than just frnds... and start a whole new world from scratch... by then we will be the same soul living in two bodies...
our instincts will guide us thru it all... at least urs will do a better job… we wont need to think.. it will just happen… most of it..

I don’t see u as a different person, leading a separate life… even if u r far away from me… distant from me in any way… I will always feel ur existence and u will feel mine… there is something more than the complexities of human and social unrealities that binds us…

I don’t have too many words these days to share with you… u know this is a short one compared to what we have been writing for each other… there is neither an expectation from the future, nor any sense of planning that I am used to indulging in…

there is just a soft touch of ur presence in my life..
somewhere…

and I am content!