Dont Miss Step 4!

A Short Guide To A Common Silly Mistake Men Make

If you meet someone by chance, someone you think is worthy of not remaining just a 'someone', make sure you do something about it. That 'something' can be on following lines -

1. Talk to her
2. Say something nice
3. Introduce yourself, know her name
5. Look into her eyes and smile

Yes. We missed a step. And that step, 4, is a very important step.

4. GET A WAY TO CONTACT HER! --- Which angel will take her phone/email/any contact detail on your behalf Sir? Being mesmerised by her musical smile and the twinkle in her eyes is all good! but kindly remain in your senses just enough to execute step 4!

You know her name, GRT!!! you can orkut it, facebook it, or google it.
But when its a name as common as 'THE', 'AND' or 'ANY' (Pooja, Anjali, Kamakshi, Priya... any other SRK movie name) then you do need the Sir name. And you need her profession (if any), a common friend, her license plate number, blood group, shoe size, length of her hair, middle note of her body aroma... anything! but more information!! more than just a NAME!
(Mr Shakespeare! will you please wipe that 'I told you so' grin off your face?! And thanks for rubbing it in!)

If you dont follow above mentioned steps, you will be agonised unnecessarily. You will think about her and dream in the 'what if' and 'i wish' formats. Its an irritant, easy to ignore if you are not "that into" her. Otherwise, it becomes tough to concentrate on better things like job, money, food, cricket and other women.

You see, its always good to make sure you let a girl know that you like her, the moment you realise that you really like her a lot. And then you must attempt all of the above steps. If she is not in agreement with you, then fine. Thank her for clearing it out and move on. Else, bingo, you have just confirmed the best mom your son could have had, or the most interesting person to go for a walk with late at night, or may be the best no strings attached partner you'd find!

And finally, if you do end up missing step 4, then the only way left for you is to write a blog post. If she reads it, great!
If she doesnt, then kindly move on in life, meet more women by chance, and then just make sure that you follow all the steps, and especially STEP 4.

Stranger Than Fiction

I saw this movie last night. Stranger than fiction.

Earlier, I read a football champion and a wrestler, narrate his experience of coping with the "Central Cord Syndrome", as a result of a wrestling match accident. He explained how the toughest problems in life seem quiet manageable, only if we put them "in a little bit of persepctive"

Expressing gratitude for simplest of things in life doesnt really come naturally to us. Nothing is too big and unsurmountable to die worrying about. And nothing is too small and insignificant to not be thankful for.

Many have spoken about it and felt it. And still, possibly, all of us tend to instinctively forget it.

I love this film for its simplicity, humor, extremely intelligent and engaging story telling and finally for the message. (There is an undertone of 'Douglas Adams' throughout the narrative approach of the film. It only adds to the whole impact.)

Sharing three quotes from the film -

1.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind, in a choice between pancakes and living, chooses pancakes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that, that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.

2.
Kay Eiffel: "If a man does know he is going to die, and dies anyway, dies willingly knowing he could stop it, then, isnt that the type of man you want to keep alive!"

3.
"As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true. And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick."

Not A Mug - A Story

Its a story.
A story of a guy & a girl who met each other at the university declamation contest. The topic was, "Poetry Makes Nothing Happen". She was speaking for the topic and he, obviously, against it.
This is a story where he was so sure that he spoke better than her, that while congratulating her on winning the prize he added, "I spoke better than you, but you won because you could roll those pretty eyes at the judges!"
A story where she was also sure that she spoke better than him. But she fell for him slightly. Only because he had started his speech with the words "Romeo is bleeding...".

She loved it when he smiled. She always wanted him to smile. So she gave him this mug. One of the many "reasons to smile", that she has given him.


He cherishes it all, and he loves to tell everyone this story.

The mug is now around 5 years old. He loves the mug. His days always start with this mug full of tea. He also once executed an unsuccessful sommersault to save the mug from hitting the ground. He felt proud that he saved it. The mug, is his smile.

Its a story from which the music is now gone, smiles feel suffocated and 'life' has entered. The sort of "life" that brings you to your knees. Humor remains though. Its oxygen. So he does try to tell himself, once in a while, that things will be fine. He cant get more humorous than this.

Its a coffee mug but he says he drinks his 'old monk' from it these days. He says he does that only when he misses her.
He drinks from it everyday.

Its a story where an ending possibly doesnt exist. It shouldnt exist.

Its a ...story.

Something Isnt Right

He saw "when harry met sally" for the 8th time... and he saw "before sunset" and loved it!!.. he is reading "love story" again... and he is looking at the stars and wondering if he could catch a falling one!

Something, he thinks, isnt right!
He had known it all along that it was supposed to happen, it was destined. Later if not sooner, it had to reach a particular confirmed state. The only doubt he had was regarding how things will unfold prior to reaching that 'state'.

but ... you know what.. something just isnt right...

...because suddenly he sees it all not breathing. That it actually wont happen, is not something his mind disagrees to. But his gut doesnt sense it! Or may be his gut just isnt sensitive enough.

Erich Segals' Love Story.... Come on now! he thinks that the conversations are smart and funny, and the silences beautiful. Read this (needless to say, this is the first conversatuion between Jennifer & Oliver) --

'What makes you so sure I went to prep school?'
'You look stupid and rich,' she said, removing her glasses.
'You're wrong,'' I protested. 'I'm actually smart and poor.'
'Oh, no, Preppie. I'm smart and poor.'
She was staring straight at me. Her eyes were brown. Okay, maybe I look rich, but I wouldn't let some 'Cliffie' - even one with pretty eyes - call me dumb.
'What the hell makes you so smart?' I asked.
'I wouldn't go for coffee with you,' she answered.
'Listen - I wouldn't ask you.'
'That,' she replied, 'is what makes you stupid.'

and this...

You're gonna flunk out, Oliver.'
We were sitting in my room on a Sunday afternoon, reading.
'Oliver, you're gonna flunk out if you just sit there watching me study.'
'I'm not watching you study. I'm studying.'
'Bullshit. You're looking at my legs.'
'Only once in a while. Every chapter.'
'That book has extremely short chapters.'
'Listen, you narcissistic bitch, you're not that great-looking! '
'I know. But can I help it if you think so?'
I threw down my book and crossed the room to where she was sitting.
'Jenny, for Christ's sake, how can I read John Stuart Mill when every single second I'm dying to make love to you?'

he loves these... and more!!

he wonders as to how does one get to know when its over? Does the fact that one is still considering the possibility that it isnt over, convey something?

Something surely isnt right! ... and then he watches this film, more of a coversation, called Before Sunset...

She ---- "...reality and love are almost contradictory to me.
...but i know its my fault because I never felt it was the right man. But what does it mean, "the right man"? the love of your life, the concept is absurd, the idea that we can only be complete with another person is EVIL! right?
He ---- "I dont wanna be one of those people, getting divorced at 52, falling down into tears and admitting that they never really loved their spouse, and as if their life has been sucked out into a vaccum cleaner.
you know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life, she deserves that. but we are just living in pretence of a marriage, of a responsibility, you know, all these ideas that people have about how people are supposed to live...
My wife is sitting near and looking at me and i feel i am million miles from her, and i know theres something wrong and that i cant keep living like this. theres gotta be something more to love than commitment.

He --- So, you are just relieved that I am in more deep shit than you are?
She --- yes :)

... so you see.. overload of such thoughts, he is now sure, is what isnt right!

Thoughts On Reality - Triggered by NDE's, Synaesthesia, Bipolarity, Quantum Uncertainity, LSD trips, Brain mechanisms etc.

How can we be so sure of interpretations of information our brain feeds us with? How do we really 'know' that what we just experienced IS the truth?
What makes us so confident that "pleasent and unpleasent" are a function of the object and not us!?
If I were to change the chemical composition of your brain, you will experience things without them "happening" in the physical sense... For eg. your thoughts, memories, will create realities that might have been a thing of the past, giving you an impression that u just visited the past!

How does the 'outside' person know that he is right and YOU are wrong!? Two people experiencing the same stimulus in radically different ways, create two independent realities for themselves!.. does this mean that "reality" itself is an illusion? its an 'interpretation' for sure!

...are certain people more prone to experiencing 'astral projections' than others? Is it due to the biological/chemical constitution of their body or the "level of evolution of their soul"... what is this soul anyway?! ...during NDEs, the 'other' people that are encountered, are probably in the 'soul' form (pardon me if my thoughts seem too presumptuous)... so even the soul seems to be stuck in a human form, which itself is such a negligible constituent of the enoromous space and universe that exists.... something like this ---

....and either way, if all of us have to perish one by one... and after a point of time, the entire earth will perish and the solar system, does it really matter that i am expressing these thoughts?!?! and that blogging exists? ...that you exist? do we have an answere? (apart from.. ohhh!! u r not supposed to think like that!!)

I am not unhappy or agitated at the thought... I am left wondering, quiet neutrally if I may add. Its like I can amuse myself with the world, knowing that its all quiet meaningless anyway :)

We are so different! We are the same!

"You just dont change." She was exasperated.

"I am sorry if I hurt you but I didnt mean to. And why do you want me to change?" He asked silently looking into her eyes.

"Because you are not the right person the way you are. I wish you were a little different." She was trying to make herself clear. Hopefully.

"Why do you want ME to be the right person, given I am the way I am? You should either not like me at all, or love me for what I am. But I just dont understand why would you ever want to change me, and then love me. Do you really know what you are asking for?"

She knew he was not understanding her again. She felt she should explain further.
"Its because I do love you, but I want you a certain way. You see, you hurt me a lot of times. You should not do that." She was almost motherly in the way she said this.

He stood confused. He knew he had to make her feel 'right' about him, but he didnt know how. He felt 'right' about her. He honestly felt that things were right the way they were. Why couldnt she see that smiles and hurt both are a part of life? Whats more important is that, she will always find him around whenever she needs him.
"But I also make you smile and laugh. I make you feel nice dont I? And 'hurt' is a part of life. Even I get hurt by you, but I never ask you to change. We cant expect things to be hunky dory all the time. There will be issues, its how we hold on and get over the tough times that will make us grow closer." He felt satisfied with his argument and looked at her lovingly.

She was giving up. She had that sinking feeling again, which only happens when she looses something precious. Didnt he see that THIS was one of those 'tough times', and that he was doing nothing to help both of them get through this? How could he argue while she was contemplating parting ways.?
"Theres no point talking to you. You will never accept your mistake and you are always right!"

"Where did THAT come from! I did say I am sorry didnt I? And I meant it. And, why dont you just forgive me for everything? I'd do that irrespective of any amount of hurt you may cause me. I'd always forgive you, for its YOU." There was a tinge of rage in his voice. He was almost shouting and he didnt realise she had shrunk.

"I will forgive you and I'll forget too. But I wouldnt feel anything for you after that. I am scared that you'll hurt me again. I am sorry, but I am like this." She really was scared and a tear rolled down from her eyes.

He stood silent.
He realised he had made another mistake, he had hurt her again.

And he was the "same person"!

Post Internet Neo-Liberal World Guide For Women

I have always been the type with a strong gender bias. I VOCIFEROUSLY support the notion that women are the better race than all other races including 'men' (obviously, as per the MUO ratings [Mythical Universe Organisation], Douglas Adams' favorite dolphins, and the 'intergalactic alien swarm bees' cannot be surpassed by anyone, and women do fail that test there. But thats about it).

I wonder why then, do these women keep attempting to compare themselves against a lowly race of men (who incidently fall even below 'Mongolian Chimps' as per the MUO) and degrade themselves in the process.

With the world changing fast (I couldnt get more cliched than that), I feel that women could do with a guide on "how to be a woman and how to deal with men, in the post internet neo-liberal world". Philogynist that I am, I have taken the pain to devise the guide myself, to make women "future ready". Here goes -

1. Men are still out there to eat you. Trust me they enjoy women more than you ever can. Now they hunt on the net, along with/instead of the roads.

2. There are bigger aims in life than getting a good man for urself. The same does not hold true for men (...their biggest aim still IS to get a good woman. Good woman is defined as any woman ready to accept them the way they are. Of course she should also have a good figure, decent amount of brain, an engrossing blog, love for everybody's parents, and no dogs. Pink accessories are just fine.)

3. Men are out there to eat you. Trust me they enjoy women more than you ever can. (Note: No, this is not a mistake. We do 'lay' 'stress' on important 'points'.)

4. Corollary 1, to 2 above; Your good man will find you. Dont say no to him when he does, just because of the MUO ratings. If you really thought that mongolian chimps are better than men, and feel like waiting for one of those chimps to be all yours, you are probably mistaken. (Note: Read again what M stands for in MUO)

5. Men are out there to eat you. Trust me they enjoy women more than you ever can.

6. Corporate ladders have been easier for you to climb so far. But now prepare for a tough future. Lets not deny it, the men can simply stand there and 'allow' you to climb the ladder, just to WATCH all of you climbing (from below). But this wont last long, soon there will be a LOT of your own types up there and then there wont be any guys left to ALLOW you to climb even higher. Then what? I suggest its high time you start honing your professional skills as per how other senior 'woman' would expect you to behave (this means that 'rolling your eyes' is not going to work any more!)

7. Men are out there to eat you. Trust me they enjoy women more than you ever can.

8. Corollary 2, to 2 above: Parents are still the sweetest people on earth. Even if they are HIS parents!.. Men still want women who can love his parents as much as her own!

9. Men are out there to eat you. Trust me they enjoy women more than you ever can.

10. Men now KNOW all of the 2 secrets that you mysterious women ever had

- You want to be understood while you dont understand yourself, and

- You need to be pleasured (crudely put, men now know where exactly your 'point' is!)

Its been long enough and now they understand. So sit back, relax and let them give you the best time of your life (every possible way). Point here being that, you need to listen to him as much as he listens to you.

11. Men are out there to eat you. Trust me they enjoy women more than you ever can.

And finally, a simple viewpoint that may not humor you, may not be a huge change, but nevertheless, is worth reinforcing.

12. You have a lot more chances of being loved in this neo-liberal world than ever before (derived from point 2 and 10 above). By being loved, I mean being loved your way. The idea is that its still YOU who needs the love and he gives it! All you need to do is be happy, and he'll not ask for anything else.

PS. All men are not out there to eat you.