New ICC Rules

A certain Mr Sharath makes some very interesting suggestions here as a comment. I REQUEST and PLEAD to Mr Malcolm Speed to ensure that ICC adopts these. It will at least keep the air clear.

(1) Ricky Ponting (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE ERA, WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, if the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER (WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrespective of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grounded. Any clarification for decision should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with in the RIGHT SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While batting, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP) as the ball might not have touched the bat and swung to the fifth slip. Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out at least FOUR TIMES before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about and harassing all players on the field and their families (specifically mothers) and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advice only.

PS.
Bhajji probably told Symonds, "Teri Maan Ki..." and Symonds heard Monkey. No Racism here. Every race has Mothers.
Australian cricket lovers are fabulous but the current Australian team us quiet pathetic.

And as i write this... news came in that Bhajji is in and Bucknor is OUT!