Ponting: Racism Is The Root Cause Of Road Accidents

This is the scoop of the century guys. A super exclusive interview with Ricky Ponting post the WACA fiasco. This story also reveals the truth behind the racism charges. He was heard muttering under his breath something on the lines of, "Yess.. this is my chance to show them I am innocent".

Crimson: After all the hullo ballo post Sydney, how does it feel to loose at perth?
Ponting: If you are trying to question my cricketing skills, you shouldn't be standing there!

Crimson (Surprised): Whew! I thought you were keen on giving this interview, but you seem a little stressed out... mate! Are you sure you want to continue?
Ponting: Of course! Don't mind that Maite! Its just a habit. I am not used to getting drubbed, so am using every opportunity to drub others. Basically that was my honest answer to the first question. I am feeling a little sad though. I thought I was doing the right thing and everybody opposed me.
By the way, if you are questioning my eagerness to share my thoughts, you shouldn't be standing there!

Crimson: What 'right thing' are you talking about? And just for your information, I am sitting.
Ponting: You know, the racist thing. I thought it would be a nice example to call Harbhajan a racist and help spread awareness about traffic rules.

Crimson (Baffled): Racism & Traffic rules? I am sorry if I am being daft here but, what exactly are you trying to say?
Ponting: Oh come on Maite! Speeding and racing are the root cause of accidents on roads. And when umpire Bucknor told me and Symonds to charge Bhajji as a racist we agreed. We have raced a lot against Bhajji around the hotels and we think he is a darn good racist. Might as well charge behind him and prove that we play "hard and fair". I really couldn't get the monkey connect there, but I guess Symonds liked the idea so we went ahead with it.

Crimson (Baffled, raised to power 100): Do you even know what racism means?
Ponting: I am not sure mate, but if you are questioning my vocabulary then you shouldn't be standing there!

Crimson: Ok Ok. We can move ahead. Guess the racism thing has been misunderstood completely. Are you planning to drop the charges against Harbhajan? Given that you charged him with over-speeding, should he be punished for racism?
Ponting: No Maite! Harbhajan said something bad about Symonds' mother as well. He has confessed it. We did not get it earlier. But now that we have got it, in the spirit of the game, we wont let it go.

Crimson: We thought he called Symonds a monkey. Where does the mother fit in?
Ponting: I don't know, I am confused myself. He said something like "Teri Maan Ki...". He didn't finish the sentence but we know his intentions were wrong. But I think we wont drop the charges because between over-speeding, monkey calling and mother taunts, Harbhajan must have done at least one thing wrong. So we think he gotta go.

Crimson: Well, lets move on to cricket now. What are your plans for the next test?
Ponting: Earlier Harbhajan was getting me out, and now its Sharma. I think we can charge Sharma as a racist and win the match. He sure is bowling fast too. So this time I know we wont get it wrong. Again, I am not sure if bowling fast and driving fast are related, but at times you just gotta go with the flow. And then may be we can remain the best team in the world, and I may become the best batsman in the world.

Crimson: Don't you think thats unfair? Sharma has just started his career. And by the way, do you know that Sachin might be conferred the Knighthood by Great Britain? Thats what happens to best batsmen. Look at Sir Don Bradman. You are not even close.
Ponting: If you are trying to question my fairness, you shouldn't be standing there!
Talking about Sharma, I told you, we play "hard and fair". And "unfair" is also a type of "fair". On knighthood, I usually like to be famous during the day, so I am not really worried.

Crimson (Slaps himself on the forehead with the center of his palm): One last question. Do you plan to go to school anytime soon?
Ponting: If you are trying to question my whatever, you shouldn't be standing there!! I am sorry, I didn't know what you were questioning and I was dying to say it again.
No, with all the cricket happening, school seems a little low on priority. Although, Symonds did mention he wanted to go to school cause he was not sure if monkey was a 'speeding racist car' or an 'Indian deity'. They have him all confused. Poor guy!
But thanks for the suggestion. We as a team learn from our mistakes and will work on them.

Crimson: Thanks a lot for giving us your time. All the best for Adelaide.
Ponting: Thanks Crimson. All the best to you for getting 'laid' too! *wink* Cheers Maite!